After procrastinating back and forth over the problem of dragonboat, i was hit with the realization that other than the lack of bonding, i have completely lost my drive and motivation for dragonboat. Training today was uneventful. First, i was late and had to quickly put down my stuff and catch up with the rest for the run, during which i lacked any feeling or motivation to put myself thru. Second, during rowing, i just felt plainly alienated from the rest of the team.
This further confirms the fact that i've lost my zest for dragonboat, and not partly due to the fact that i have a busy schedule coming up........
Other than that, training was kinda tough today. At sea, we did a 2km warmup row, followed by 2 strenuous 4km row around the circumference of kallang river. Aching all over now, coz i have been away from training since the last race - abt 3 wks.
Tempted i am to quit dragonboat, feeling like a burden right now, but then again, there's the matter of abandoning my teammates in their time of need (was told they don't wanna lose such a good rower) . Somehow it seems unethical to quit and join PASSC team, its TOTAL DISLOYALTY. Feeling depression, disillusionment right now, muz really reflect and find what i really want from life i guess.
Its weird how i feel more stressed and depressed even though exams are over.....not getting the sense of relief i ought to feel.....
OrAnGeL was fuming at
1:34 AM
-----------------
Been eons since i last blogged, and the term has past by in a flash...exams are over n itz onwards into the hols...but i'm starting my internship in 2 days time...till aug 4....blehz...i will be working as a management trainee in Eurofin Asia, a finance firm...will be helping out on the investment fund they are setting up...hope itz a worthwhile experience for me...hehe
Duno whether to be happy to not...
Happy that i got an internship with such a decent firm
Not happy coz my life will be kind of a hell-hole from next wk on...
Imagine....
5-day 9-6pm, mon wed fri tuition from 7-9pm, thur piano 730-9pm, tue thur 7-9pm sat 3-6pm db training, sun tuition........
Datz a 7-day week with no time to take a breather or do any R&R...
SOMEBODY PLS KILL ME!!!!
Dragonboat training is gonna start officially today, yet i feel no excitement....
Last year's regatta race did bring the gals team closer together, but the march race has seem to push us further apart....there are people i hardly talk to at all, and i always feel alienated around them during training....dere's this sixth sense in me that tells me that they dun like me...but itz hard to quantify....perhaps it's due to the fact that we have no common topics....geez.....i don't know...
As far as i'm concerned, i joined dragonboat to bring back the feeling of bonding which i felt when i was in njc squash....but it seems like itz not even halfway there yet....one thing is they dun open up and i dun feel the close-knittedness i yearn to feel from the days of squash....makes me contemplate quitting the team....what i want is a team that is v bonded, who share their happiness and troubles, who move forward together with the determination and perseverance to reach their goals together.....but sometimes what i'm hearing is juz hollow words of encouragement, and it doesn't help that some have already quitted the team....
OrAnGeL was fuming at
12:00 AM
-----------------
This is
orangel blog~
kaixin
joan
weilng
smu dragonboat
jing jing
meijiuan
christopher
shijia
ARCHIVES
December 2005
January 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
December 2006
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
December 2007
October 2008
January 2009
May 2009
Tag
Credits